The Blackbird prince

Molly liked to save money.

That is all I can remember of her. If you asked me what she looked like I could only reply that she looked like she liked to save money. The same applied to her smell and her sounds.

Molly wanted to be seen as a kind woman; she liked to give gifts to her friends… The problem was that she didn’t like buying them. As she liked to save money she needed to find some-one else to buy them. This person was invariably called her boyfriend. I’m using the word boyfriend as a collective noun here… She had a boyfriend of short term relationships. The boyfriends soon left her out of despair, out of horror and always out of pocket

One afternoon, alone scrimping, she spotted an ad on the internet offering a free cake (she borrowed her broadband from neighbours).

She put on her nice thrift shop dress and set out to drive the 20 miles or so to the free cake, she stopped at the garage to put petrol in. She bought a bounty bar (her one luxury) and worming tablets on impulse.

She picked up the cake, thanked the woman kindly and drove home.

At home she put the kettle on then made tea, put out a plate and a knife, sat down and looked at the cake. Before unwrapping it she read the words ‘may contain nuts’ on the label. She sighed and put away the plate and knife.

She eyed the birds in the garden.

Reaching up to scatter morsels of cake on the bird table a blackbird landed on her forearm.

Hello little chap. She said.

Hello! Said the blackbird… and less of the little chap please. I am in fact a prince, a very honest, generous prince, who has been put under this ghastly spell by a wicked witch, only my mother knows why and she isn’t telling. The only way I can change back is by receiving a voluntary kiss from a virgin.

Susie thought about this and decided to kiss him anyway… He's a prince she thought, not a gynaecologist.

There was a puff of smoke and instantly she was transformed in to a black bird.

She was startled for a moment then hopping up to the bird table, thought: Oh well, at least I can eat the cake!

The blackbird prince put a wing around her shoulder and said: This cake is all very well but what I really need is some worms… Look at that dog over there, I bet it is full of worms, if only we could get at them.

Susie looked down at the thrift shop dress on the grass, the bounty bar and worming tablet packet fallen from the pocket and said:

I have an idea.